FREE: Bittersweet.

Last weekend, my family and I took a trip to San Diego, CA. We didn't go to visit family, we didn't go to sight see, and we didn't go to have a good time. We went to drop my older sister off so she could start her first year of college. It was one of those things that nobody wanted to happen, but it HAD to happen.
My sister and I are 3 years apart. Even when we were kids, we constantly fought. Most of the time about sharing clothes, food, anything. But my whole life, she's been the person I've confided in. The person who's completely accepted me with all my flaws. The person who's been there for me my entire life. Even though we would get mad at each other on a daily basis, and scream at each other for the stupidest reasons, she was the closest thing to me. Last year after she graduated from her senior year of high school as a hornet, I knew that soon, she was gonna leave. It never sank in, it never hit me hard. I didn't think I was gonna miss her, and I really didn't think it was gonna be a big deal. But as summer progressed, I became even closer with her than I already was. During the day, we would go shopping together. Just the 2 of us. We would take walks together and talk about things that wouldn't come up in normal conversation. She would come into my room every single night, sit on my bed, and we would talk and laugh until late hours of the morning. One night, I remember clearly. I was feeling really down, I didn't wanna talk to anyone or do anything. My sister came in and immediately knew something was wrong. She shut the door behind her, and sat down next to me. She listened and gave me advice from her point of view, not telling me what I had to do, but her opinion on what I should do. That night she didn't leave me, she slept in my room and made sure I was A-okay. Nights like those made me feel so thankful that I had an older, wiser sister to turn to in situations like those.
The night before we left to drop her off, she asked me, "will you miss me?" Of course I said yeah, but I didn't really feel it. After we arrived, set up her dorm, and shopped around for extras that she needed, it was time for us to go our separate ways. When I hugged her for the last time before getting into our car, I started to cry. Because I knew I wasn't going to see her everyday anymore, I knew we weren't gonna have anymore of those nights together anymore. She's not gonna know when I'm feeling down and won't be able to cheer me up anymore. Only then did I realize how much I was going to miss her. How it wasn't going to be the same when she was gone. But then I thought, she's attending U.C San Diego, an amazing school. Good things are gonna happen to her, so I should be happy. I never really understood the quote, "you don't know what you have until it's gone." People usually associate that quote with relationships and situations in that category. But I found it worked even better in this situation. I really didn't know what my sister was to me until she was gone. And even though I miss her everyday, I know she's gonna strive. There's only one word I could think of to describe this situation, bittersweet.